Evil Bitch Mother

Ryan is behind in math.  He's behind in reading as well (according to the Montgomery County school system), but I'm not too worried about it because he loves to read.  His reading will catch up pretty soon I think.  But it's the math.  The effing math.  I'm generally a very patient person.  Low-key.  I don't fly off the handle very often.  But when it comes to teaching math, I turn into Evil Bitch Mother.  


Evil Bitch Mother is mean and she doesn't care.  She yells a lot. She sounds scarier than hell and she scars her children for life. I'm sure of this.  Evil Bitch Mother makes her husband cringe, and if he's here when Evil Bitch Mother is teaching math, he usually has to step in and take over.  He has to save sweet Ryan from a wild-eyed crazy woman.  


Yes, Evil Bitch Mother hates math.  She hates teaching it.  And she doesn't understand why her son can't count simple change.  Or do simple fractions.  But Evil Bitch Mother needs to realize that she totally sucked at math too.  That her own parents got frustrated with her.  But I don't think they were as mean as Evil Bitch Mother. They didn't yell at me the way I yell at my son.  They didn't yell things like, Why can't you get this into your brain?! or This is simple Ryan! If you THINK for a minute MAYBE you'll GET it! 


I know.  Maybe he's bad at math because of me.  I'm embarrassed that I behave this way. Totally and completely ashamed.  I don't know how people home school their kids.  When I teach math, my sweet ass self turns into a vile person.  I think the only solution is to have Ernesto take over the math.  I have never met a more patient person than my husband (besides my mom).  When he teaches Ryan, Ernesto never yells.  He talks in a low, even tone and calmly corrects Ryan if he's wrong.  He explains things.  He just has a knack for teaching. The only way for Evil Bitch Mother to go away is if I resign my post as math teacher.  So honey if you're reading this, you are now Mr. Math.  I leave it to you.  My sweet, patient husband.  Who would never turn into an Evil Bitch Father.