Mean Boys

So Ryan was a victim of bullying at his school. It was pretty brutal and it's probably something he'll remember as an adult, unfortunately. He wasn't beat up or anything like that, but a group of boys were making fun of him and harassing him in a very humiliating way. This happened a few weeks ago, and I only found out from Ryan two days ago. I think Ryan waited to tell me because he was so mortified. He said that his teacher was aware of the incident. This infuriated me of course because she hadn't informed me of what happened. Ryan also told me that the other kids had not been punished. So after a few emails and two phone calls to the school, I was finally able to talk it out with his teacher this morning. I guess at the time that it happened, poor Ryan was so nervous and upset that he couldn't even talk...so it was hard to get any information from him. The main instigator wouldn't talk either (and neither would the other boys), so eventually the teachers just let it go and figured everything was okay. But it wasn't. Ryan's teacher should have informed me so that I could talk to him and get the information needed to punish those other boys. Now it's two weeks later, and the only action they are going to take is to talk to the "main instigator" and have him apologize to Ryan. Ryan hasn't had any other problems with this kid, so I suppose that a good talking to would be appropriate and no other intervention is needed... other than calling his parents. Which I will do today.

Ryan is such a good, honest, sweet kid. He has his moments, and he can be over-sensitive which, I think, makes him a target. This whole situation is a big lesson for him. The lesson is that it's okay for him to stand up for himself and yell if he wants to. It's okay for him to walk away. It's okay for him to talk to his teacher. And it's okay for him to tell me and his dad right away if he was bullied. The poor kid was so scared that HE would get in trouble if he told.

In many ways Ryan is a lot like me when I was a kid. I was an easy target because I was shy and sensitive. But I love that he is shy and sensitive. It makes him who he is. And he has such a deep empathy for other people. He has such a rich imagination. And he has the brightest smile. I just hope he can make it through his teenage years unscathed...